From $17k a Month to Zero
Originally posted on Dec 21, 2019 on medium.com/@shamandao
This article will probably make some of you cringe because it’s the opposite of the other articles that show you how to make money.
In today’s article, I will show you how I went from making an average of seventeen thousand dollars a month to zero dollars. And why it was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.
It was easy. The day after my sales manager came back from her three-day vacation in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico, I quit my mortgage banker job.
There were tears involved, no plan B in place and access granted to say goodbye to every single one of my colleagues in our mortgage company. I walked around to thank everyone from the janitor to all my loan processors to the director of the company. They had all been a link in my chain of good throughout the years. It wasn’t easy. It was very difficult leaving a place that became a second home.
With a yellow envelope filled with discharge papers in hand and tears which blocked my vision, I walked out on one of the most lucrative careers I’ve ever been in.
It was actually the only industry I’ve ever known.
“What did I do?” I yelled in the car after I drove way. I drove aimlessly until I ended up at one of my favorite Laguna Beach’s enclaves with sand in between my toes and tears that streamed down my face. The question echoed in my soul and boomeranged back as a pounding in my chest.
That darn pounding.
It began with a knocking which grew louder and louder until the sound and feel of it felt like an iron fist punching my chest over and over again.
“Hey, wake up,” I said to my then boyfriend as I tried to shake him awake. It was a cool Southern California February morning when I was awoken by an inner jolt.
“There’s something wrong with John,” I said as my hand was placed over my heart. My then boyfriend opened his eyes, nodded in agreement and went back to sleep. I sat there with my knees against my chest and reminded myself to breathe. This dream was different from the others, I thought.
It took about one week to find John, a family member of mine, a specialist and begin the process of getting his insurance’s approval for his medical care. Even though on the outside John looked perfectly fine, we were able to minimize and then stop the bleeding inside of him. John had begun to bleed internally with no symptoms, no warning, only a message delivered to me in a dream.
There was something happening with me. The pounding became stronger. A man is alive today because of me. We were able to catch the internal bleeding in time before he would have bled out in six months, but how? How did I know? These thoughts kept replaying in my mind.
My colleagues would speak to me as I dazed off in the weeks leading up to my departure. My clients came and went as my eyes glazed over the paperwork. I continued to do my job well enough to still be in the upper tier of loan sales.
The money didn’t matter to me anymore, none of it mattered to me. The outside world I had worked so hard for and had created for myself began to crumble. There was something bigger happening to me internally. It was something bigger than my job, the money, my relationship at the time, it was bigger than all of it.
I didn’t know it was, but I felt it because it kept me awake at night.
So that’s how I went from making an average of seventeen thousand dollars a month to zero. I quit my job and surrendered my entire existence to follow and understand that knocking.
What was the knocking?
It was my intuition, my extra sensory ability of clear knowing, which was knocking on the door. A door I had closed a long time ago due to fear. I later learned it was called Claircognizance. My spirit guides and angels were tired of waiting for me to hear them. They were tired of waiting for me to become aware of all the miracles happening at every single second of my life. They used a log jammer to pound that door down until I opened it up. They had to feed me information about the one person they knew who would make me question my reality.
They fed me information through my dream to save John’s life. John is my Dad. I saved my Dad’s life. He became the first of many over these last few years, who I was able to pinpoint internal medical illnesses with just my clear knowing.
If I would have stayed in the mortgage industry, I would have all the material riches at my fingertips. Which is not a bad thing, it just wasn’t my thing any longer.
My family didn’t understand or my colleagues or my friends. No one really understood what or why I made the decision to quit a job where I made well over six figures at. Where I worked seven hour days, when the rest of my colleagues worked ten to twelve hour days to achieve the same results. Why would I leave a team where my manager gave me full range of travel whenever I wanted?
“Are you crazy?”
“Why don’t you want to stay and make money?”
“What’s wrong with you?”
Yes, yes to all of the above. It took me fourteen long years of pain, sacrifice and the highest of highs to come crashing down to the lowest of lows to achieve what I have done in those years in the mortgage industry. To be the best of the best in sales, one must put their heads down to grind in this industry with a fire in their belly. Because of my attitude along with my aptitude, I was able to close loans faster, never jeopardizing the quality of any of my sales.
A lot of my colleagues, myself included were in it for the money. Nothing more, nothing less. I did an honest assessment of where I placed value and what I valued, myself included. These last few years have given me something I believe I wouldn’t have been able to realize if I had stayed in my mortgage banking position.
I came to the self-realization that I identified my worth on how many zero’s I had in my bank account.
I have since dedicated the last five years to own healing and learning. As I healed myself, as I dove deeper inward, I was able to heal others in ways other practitioners have fallen short. When I went from making six figures to nothing real quick, I noticed something. I didn’t perish. Instead, I learned how to recognize the beauty of all the gifts I held inside of me.
I used to care so much about what others thought and believed about me because I grew up in an environment where material wealth screamed at you from every corner. I thought all the material things would feed that empty void within my soul. But it took a pounding in my chest to make me realize that there is more to life than what we see in front of us.
My father’s near death became the catalyst for me to ‘wake up’ from the dream state I was in to live my true purpose.
Everyone’s path is different as it was necessary for me to slam that door shut to swing the spiritual one open. I know myself because if I didn’t, I would be teeter tottering in two different playing fields and not giving my all to either one.
Not long after I left my corporate position, I got down on my knees in my living room one evening and looked up to the ceiling. I raised my arms up and out and announced to the silent whispers in the room and to the heavens above, “Okay, you have me. You can have all me. I give you permission to use every single ounce of what is happening inside of me. I surrender.”
From that moment forward, I listened to my intuition. I listened to my higher self, I listened to all the Higher Powers above who have helped guide me to where I am today. I listened to all my Galactic Council, God, Jesus, Buddha, Mother Mary and every one of my highest intent. Above all else, I listened to me and my inner knowing.
I gave my all to the spirit side and began to believe in me. Belief can move mountains.
Spiritual Carol is still the same mortgage Carol, but different. I am the same person with the fire in her belly with the tenacity to ask questions when she does not know the answers.
Instead of asking a manager, I go inward in meditation to ask my inner knowing. I am the same person with the positive attitude but now with love of self that fills my cells. I am the same person who loves efficiency and effectiveness. I apply the same effective principles in healing others as I heal myself, always making sure the quality is never jeopardized.
I shifted from wearing Chanel’s Coco Mademoiselle perfume to doTERRA’s lavender essential oils.
I now know my worth and the value I create in other’s lives and in mine, which is not based on the zeros’ in my bank account any longer. I am softer, slower paced and wiser. I am in the state of flow with the Universe and I trust that what is meant for me, is mine and what is not, is for protection of me.
I have become a jack of all modalities and a master of releasement.
My inner struggle has faded away into almost a whisper. I am happy. I am love. I am content and I do not wish or need much in my life. If happiness is the new rich, inner peace is the new success and kindness is the new cool, then I’m doing better than okay. In fact, I guess many can say that I’m doing pretty well.
My yearly take home ever since I quit my mortgage job in 2015 has been equivalent to my monthly take home many moons ago. Every second since the pounding in my chest had been focused on understanding and honing my extrasensory abilities.
I feel and know that I am more abundant and prosperous now than I’ve ever been in my life. I know that anything I want or need is in co-creation with my Higher Power. All I have to do is ask and a withdrawal from my karmic bank account is given. I have all I need because I see gratitude in all there is.
The foundation has been set, it’s now time to build. Let there be Light.
Blessed be.