The Silver Lining

Originally posted on Apr 28, 2020 on medium.com/@shamandao

The Transition From Dark to Light

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash

I used to be that girl. The one who believed she could change a man with her love, with her personality. I used to be that girl who fell in love with the potential of a guy and not who he showed her he was.

I think that girl in a time when the world has stopped functioning. I think about my ex-boyfriend who loved me so fiercely, he gave me 110% of his heart. I didn’t know anything about love languages back then. As he yelled his love languages across the rooftops to and for me and still, it wasn’t enough.

It wasn’t enough because he wasn’t speaking my love language. The more he spoke, the more he expressed, my love tank never felt full. We called it quits when I realized he wasn’t capable of loving me in the way I needed to feel loved. Some people do not have the basic emotional equipment necessary to be in a healthy relationship.

He wasn’t going to put in the work and time to understand me. He wasn’t the type to pick up books or ask questions about women. He was him and I was me. We still keep in contact to this day even after twelve years. We still love and respect each other. And I know in my heart, I could slide right back into his life if I wanted to and become his wife.

If I wanted to. But why would I want to be with someone who wouldn’t put in the time and effort to understand me? Is love enough? It depends on where and who the love is coming from. There’s work on both ends to meet in the middle.

There are so many men and women out there willing to cross the bridge to meet someone on their side. All the while forgetting about who they are and what they need on their end. And that’s okay, that will always be okay. There will always be someone for everyone.

Life is a series of experiences to learn from. From pain and hurt, love, and joy. It is a series of magical events that are led by the hand of your Higher Power/Self to be painted by your physical self in this world. You are the artist in the masterpiece of your life. The outline of your painting was already constructed and agreed upon before your soul descended into your physical form.

All you had to do was pick out the colors and color them in. Some of the spaces on the canvas of your life carried heaviness and pain, so the colors reflected that. From black to dark blues to blood dripping reds. Then came the parts in your life where everything felt magical and felt right. Those were reflected in yellows, pinks, and whites strewn across your canvas. And then there were the silver linings in between the light and dark colors.

No matter how bad it felt back then or now, know that there are cotton candy pinks and canary yellows on their way.

Because the stroke of colors on your canvas are always fleeting. The moment we can accept it for what it is and all its beauty is the moment we can appreciate it. It’s difficult to appreciate the beauty of something or someone when all we can feel is heaviness or darkness. But when you take a step back is when you can see the bigger picture. The lines of silver have been and are acting as transitions from the dark to the light.

I look at my own life canvas and at the girl who thought she could change a man with just her love. I appreciate her and that time with my Ex. I give appreciation for being who he was during our time together and for loving me the way he did. I can look back at that experience to learn from it and carry that lesson onward.

Sometimes all we need is to take one step back to go two steps forward.

Many blessings.